i could go all night.

this was never supposed to be a personal blog. because really, who actually wants to know what goes on inside my head? i don't even. its neurotic, its dysfunctional, and mostly, its a stream of bad ideas one after another.

so im not going to share.

but i will talk about my rediscovery of my enjoyment of live music. being so broke the last few years, i've gone to next to no shows. I missed my favorite bands when they came through town, i missed seeing all the bands my friends started to love, and i fell completely out of touch with music... the one thing that really drives me. ive barely had a working computer the past few years, so even downloading albums was out. i survived on repeat play nights of old albums and wore them thin. Since moving here, despite still not having much money, i've been going to a ton of shows. i've been downloading music, talking about music, and writing music. and honestly, i'm far happier than i've been in a long time. its strange to admit that, seeing as how i never planned to like des moines. despite my inherently negative attitude i've found a lot to enjoy. maybe i'm just experiencing what everybody already knew about, or maybe i'm just at a point where i'll let myself be happy just a little bit. but no matter what it is, there is new music around me constantly, both in and out of my house, and im starting to notice my face being sore from the permanent smile plastered on it.

i'm aware of who i am, and i realize that this could change at any second. one false move and i'll be back to square one. but for now i'm really soaking it in, man.